Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
