try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
