buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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