Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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