Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
