Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
