i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
