I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
