Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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