doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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