: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
