I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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