That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
