if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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