I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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