I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
