so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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