The maid of honor just puked.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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