I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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