Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
