i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
