I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think people are normalizing furries
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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