I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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