whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
