He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Randomize
