can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
