I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
