i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
