did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
