C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
