THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
