You work out of a Hotel?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
His nipple licking is glorious
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