It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
