Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
