You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
