I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
