First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
