if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
