so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
