In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
