M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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