i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
