are you so shy because you have an std?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
