NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
