last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
