she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
