I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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