I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She announced her abortion via fbk
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
