I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
