im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
