I think I am morally bankrupt
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
