I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
