i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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