she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
