i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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